Hey Carly,

We're doing well.  Certain things have been a challenge but honestly compared to others, difficulties in our life here on the farm are not extreme. Becca is very up and down emotionally, empathic connection gives light and dark in this time, more opportunity for digging in.

I hear you are in forced total lock down now...it makes me sad that you are physically by yourself, without a ready source of TP though I am reassured in knowing your resilience.  I hope both the lock down and TP issues change very soon, choose your leaves wisely.

About a week ago Becca and I began to feel a critical need for social distance and realized that our community was not taking the precautions that we felt were necessary in maintaining proper social distance.

We have a certain amount of privilege here in this back country and it's easy to disconnect from the outside world. I began to feel that our privilege was translating into a lack of awareness. Did my community not understand what creating a bit of space in social connection means to our health care workers, the health care system and the truly vulnerable in this time? I know that they are all very empathetic people but empathy was not translating into action. 

I have a tendency to be an interventionist ...that seems to be one of my roles and I must admit I do like it but I have to be constantly vigilant... my shadow around this can be what I call the "Disruptor". My “Disrupter” shadow is related to my control shadow and likes to tear down both good and bad for the sake of what I think is “right”. It's a constant work for me not to drop into the "Disruptor".

I requested a sit down, with our core of what others might call "leadership", in our community, and discussed what I was feeling, what I saw that was going on and action I felt needed to be adopted so that I didn't feel a part of some injury, illness or death ....that what I was seeing did not feel supportive of the greater good.  Community members were still engaging in random play dates both adult and child, people from outside the community invited and coming and going, random trips to town without social distancing, improper post visit hygiene...the list went on........

It was a challenging discussion, I second guessed myself quite a lot, I still do a bit, maybe I'm just being a disruptive ass, but no this is real. They were initially not on board, and it took over an hour of discussion and my own vulnerability around social distancing for a space to be created where we could come together and understand that it's not about me or them ... it's about the people who are vulnerable, who are giving their all, it's about the greater good.

They knew this already and are all about supporting and empowering the most vulnerable in our community as well as our local, regional and national community.

Yet it is so strange and I’ve witnessed it in myself, the disconnect in action from values and ideals. Becca is really good at relating to it through (in)action around climate change. The closest thing I can relate to is the feeling when walking on railroad tracks and suddenly realizing a train is approaching and knowing that if I give into fear, I might be frozen in place. I must move, take action, not allow the fear to take over and freeze me to the tracks, so I take a breath and step off the tracks, onto a new path, and out of the way of the oncoming train. Social distance isn’t really stepping off the path for me. It is relatively easy but it certainly is not easy for many in my community. This community is all about communication, connection, music, performance and general group creativity. Social distance is a huge leap off the tracks into the unknown.

It is a challenge to be in community with a diverse group of people. What is evident to one person is not so evident to another even though we might have shared ideals and values. This is why leadership and leading with clear communication especially in times of stress, fear and anxiety is so critical…......ohhhhh....that damn gang of clowns leading our nation…..again!!

What is good about a nation, a community, a tribe if we are incapable of hearing, integrating, communicating and empathy?

What is good about a nation, a community, a tribe, if actions, disconnected (or connected for that matter) from our ideals and values, damage our social order, our environment, our health and welfare and ourselves? 

The answer is not much good, nor will a nation or tribe be long lived without good integration, communication and empathy, our history has shown this to be true time.... after time.... after time...

An even bigger question is how to bridge the gap, create action, with those who may share my values and ideals but greatly differ in how they take action around those values and ideals. What about the people I don't share ideals and values with? How do I be more empathetic and effective in listening, integrating what I hear and communicating what I am feeling or think I know? 

So challenging but it feels like I (we) are getting somewhere with it in our community and I want the space for it to happen in our larger social order. 

We had a 3 hour community meeting in the evening yesterday and got our social distancing protocols hammered out, it was a challenge, and we share ideals and values.  Day 1 of social distancing has started.  We are a consensus based community and it is not surprising that we still have one person who does not want to subscribe to our actions around social distancing.

Lots of work to be done. We have a well established framework for communication. I have support and I will be supportive of others. 

But what do we do as a tribe, a community if a person does not follow through with the greater agreed community action...it has a great impact on the tribe ...but as a tribe, a community we only have so much input over an individual’s actions.

A very similar issue to our larger national trauma, disconnect and value polarization. It feels like this virus has to happen so we can create some space in our national consciousness/awareness and when the dust clears be able to bring into that space more empathy, more inclusivity and more emotional awareness. I feel this happening with me and in our community. So challenging but ahh the reward ... possibly very rewarding....and that's what I am so very excited about!!

It's spring and the daffodils are blooming, fruit trees are putting on buds, cottonwood is getting resinous and at this altitude we are still getting snow, almost all day long today but it is distinctly spring. So beautiful the way that only a mountain spring can be.

Feels like we will have good water this summer and the gardens will do nicely. I am feeling so very fortunate, to have a love near me, access to the outdoors and close community. 

We are happy and growing closer all the time.

Stay well, be in love and beauty Carly.

Seth

PS you'll see this again as a blog post, and you are great carpenter/plumber so maybe order a bidet? Random leaves can cause a rash.