Hello beauties,

Here we are in mid-February, the depths of winter. For folks in cold and/or dark climates, I know this can be one of the hardest times of the year. The holidays are over, yet spring doesn’t quite feel in reach. To help you sink into the deep delights of winter and stay physically and mentally well in it, we’ve got some goodies on sale for you through February 23rd.

Think warm baths with epsom salts, herbs, and essential oils from our land. Massages with warming cottonwood bud oil. CBD salve rubbed on your temples and jawbone before bed. Hot cocoa infused with CBD tincture. Sparkles with immune-boosting elderberry elixir. A deep-dive into your soul with an astrology or tarot reading.

And then we have a few of our favorite mood- and immune-supporting tinctures to keep you sane and well during these more indoorsy times: St. John’s Wort, Mellow Mood, Root of Wellness, and Seasonal Resilience. Use code DEEPWINTER23 at checkout.

The main reason we’ve been so quiet since the holidays is that we just returned from our belated honeymoon in Colombia. A whole month, y’all! I feel so grateful for the opportunity and privilege. Before going, I had visions of doing lots of deep journaling work and writing for the website and making tons of drawings during all that time… Instead I read ten novels! And walked many miles. And drank so much fresh juice. And floated in warm water. And climbed into ancient tombs and up steep mountainsides covered in coffee and banana plants.

All the while fighting off some guilt for my lack of “productivity.” Argh! Even on vacation… on our honeymoon… I was pursued by an internalized voice that believes my worth as a human being can be boiled down to what I measurably produce. Luckily, I heard it for what it was and invited it to rest… again and again and again.

Like many folks in my circle, I struggle with my deep desire to do all the things I love to do, to manifest my creative visions, to feel a sense of purpose and meaning in the world, to achieve my goals AND to simply relax enjoy this gift of a life. To do what I want when I want!

And I get confused because sometimes acting on my desires to be productive absolutely contributes to my enjoyment of life, and other times it feels like I’m being chased down by an internal Judge who teases me with the possibility of approval if I only just stay busy by giving my attention to the things that can make me some money.

But that Judge is never satisfied. So my inner Rebel flips it the bird, lies on the couch with a movie during the day, takes a bath, dusts the windows… does ANYTHING but the things the Judge deems important. But that kind of rebellious “relaxation” rarely feels good, becomes an obstacle between me and my dreams, and decreases my life satisfaction.

And so I invited my inner Judge to back off during our trip. My Wise Self knew I needed a lot of spaciousness after a few busy seasons. When my Judge got loud about the lack of drawings or writing I was producing, I reminded myself that I was welcome to draw or journal or pull tarot cards to my heart’s content, and that I was under no obligation to do so. I remembered that one of my childhood dreams was to spend my life adventuring in beautiful, wild places and reading as much as I wanted. And here I was doing it!! I reminded myself that I was on vacation, and the whole point of vacation was to replenish and restore. And so I did.

And now I am back with energy! Honestly, I feel a vitality that feels essentially me and yet has felt distant for a long time. It could be the caffeinated coffee I’ve been newly drinking since we got to Colombia. But I also think it’s my evolving relationship with the Judge. Instead of casting it aside altogether, I’m hearing that it wants me to pursue my deepest ambitions.

And so I am implementing more structure into my daily life. Setting my alarm so I can go on a long walk, have a leisurely cup of coffee, and begin working at 9am. And ending by 6pm! I’ve moved my desk to the window so I can sit upright and focus when I’m working, and am saving my cozy nest for conscious relaxation. Which I am deliberately creating space for.

And instead of feeling oppressed by these structures, I am actually feeling freed up! And, most importantly, the Judge and the Rebel are both at peace. Because their supposedly oppositional yearnings to enjoy her life through action and relaxation are both being met.

What comes up for you when reading this? What is your relationship with structure, scheduling, productivity, relaxation, and self-worth? What voices inside of you are seeking attention and trying to drive your behavior? How can your wisest self meet the core needs of those characters without abandoning your most authentic self? If you want to work with these questions and/or your myriad parts more deeply, let’s do some tarot or astrology sessions together!

And no matter what, may you give yourself the all delights you need to feel balanced, whole, and healthy.

In big love and bottomless beauty, xoxo Becca and Seth